Masca

Cand vorbim de masca, fiecare dintre noi ne gandim la diferitele feluri de masti. Eu una ma gandesc la oamenii care poarta zilnic masti. Si e corect ca am scris masti si nu masca. Asa le place unora, sa schimbe mai multe masti. Niciodata nu am inteles acest tip de oameni ori aceasta nebunie de a juca mai multe roluri in viata de zi cu zi. Probabiil ii incanta ideea de a se ascunde si de a-si ascunde adevaratele sentimente fata de interlocutor. Probabil cred ca joaca un rol bun, sau, probabil se cred actori buni. Intotdeauna am zis ca scena, teatrul si filmul sunt pentru actori. Restul e viata reala, iar daca nu ne jcam rolul real atunci suntem un nimeni. Jucand roluri si purtand masti in viata reala ne pierdem personalitatea, uitam cine de fapt suntem noi. Uitam sa zambim cand ne bucuram, uitam sa varsam lacrimi cand suntem tristi...uitam. Asa sunteti voi cei ce purtati masti, uitati pentru ca sunteti preocupati sa schimbati mastile, sa le potriviti rolului pe care credeti ca trebuie sa il jucati. Un rol pe care vi-l impuneti singuri. Un rol in care va amagiti ca sunteti inconjurati de prieteni cand de fapt sunteti singuri. Masca este prietena cu cei din jur. Voi, cei din spatele mastilor sunteti speriati de singuratate, va e teama ca cei din jur nu va vor place daca scoateti masca. Traiti intr-o continua minciuna si nu respectati penimeni si  asta e trist.

Ganduri

Ganduri
Visuri
Amestecate
Aruncate
Aruncate peste noi
Noi, intreg si totusi doi
Doi pe caile-ncurcate
Incurcate spre tot mai departe.
Departe
Fapte
Ecouri
Tablouri
Tablouri pictate in acuarele
Acuarele pierdute prin gandurile mele
Gandurile mele pline de suspans
Suspans trait in pasi de dans.
Dans
Vals
Traire
Regasire
Regasire printre stele
Stele cazute la picioarele mele
Picioarele mele calcand usor
Usor atingand ploaie si nor.
Nor
Zbor
Suspin
Lin
Lin plutesc printre culori
Culori si forme  te fac sa zbori
Zbori usor printre mii de susuri
Susuri ce canta tacutele ganduri.

Vis de primavara

De umeri ma cuprinzi
Cu pasi usor timizi
Mergem tacuti impreuna
Dansand sub clar de luna.
Carari.
Plimbari.
Ne invartim in piruete,
Sarind printre planete,
Imbratisari in noapte
Ne aduc tot mai aproape
Indragostiti.
Nedespartiti.
Nici nu stii cand si poate,
Ne contopim in mii de soapte.
In simfonie de culori
Calatorim pana in zori.
Zbor.
Amor.
Din trup in trup ne transformam,
Din gand in gand ne cautam,
Ne regasim doar amandoi,
Singuri, si doar noi doi
Sentimente.
Inocente.

Iaarasi TU

   Mi-ai oferit inima ta, si am luat-o cu ambele maini. Am sa o modelez intr-o brosa si o voi purta
cu mine mereu. Mereu aproape de inima mea. Si cand o ating, tu vei tresari, vei simti strigatul dorului meu.
   Mi-ai oferit sufletul tau si eu l-am acceptat cu toata fiinta mea. L-am luat si l-am modelat int-o agrafa cu care imi prind parul, si de cate ori imi trec mana prin par si o ating sufletul tau simte ati gerea degetelor mele.
   Mi-ai oferit dragostea ta si eu am luat-o cu toata fiinta mea. Am luat-o si mi-an crosetat o esarfa pe care o port in jurul gatului, si de cate ori buzele mele o ating, tu simti sarutul meu.
   Ori de cate ori merg ifi simt inima batand langa a mea.
Ori de cate ori adie vantul si imi ravaseste parul iti aud soaptele.
Ori de cate ori e rece afara iti simt caldura care ma cuprinde in mireasma ei.
   Alerg spre tine sa ma imbat de fiinta ta, sa devin una cu tine, sa te tin mereu in mine si sa nu-ti mai dau voie sa pleci. Sa fii mereu la inima mea, in vantul care ma dezmiarda si sa simt imbratisarile tale in fiecare clipa.

I am...

I am the answer
To your unasked question
The open tower
Only you can read it alone


I am the leader
For you to touch the sky
Being the rider
From a constellation to another one


I am the wave
Who brings you to another shore
The courage you have
Swimming to reach the other one


I am the lonley heart
The one that leave and feels it hard
We never fall apart

In this journey together as one

August Rush

 Listening the music inside yourself

The inner lyrics playing itself

Close your eyes and start to dance

Around your heart let them race

In the middle of the night

The music you hear inside

It is a lonely solo violin

All bits together falling in

When all and each are playing notes

The symphony of  your thoughts

Dancing love in the rain

Swirling and swirling insane

You, the violin and dance

A unique trinity romance

Embraced under the alcove 

Singing the concert of a real love

Vals

Sa prinzi aripi sa zbori
Sa plutesti pe un covor de nori
Inchizi ochii si respiri
Parfumul adevaratei iubiri

Asculti vantul cum sopteste
In pasi de vals el se roteste
Se inalta si coboara
Vartejuri de inimi tresara

Dansand cu salcia inmugurita
Ii canta precum o inima indragostita
O apleaca si o rasuceste
In ritm de vals o inima pluteste

Vant si salcie inlantuite
Danseaza vals innebunite
Te prind in dansul lor si zbori
Pe un imens covor de nori 
x

Soapte de noapte

Soapte de noapte
Vise adanc incuiate
Asculti in tacere
Povestile serii

Soapte de noapte
Ganduri candva uitate
Te rascolesc emotii
In murmurul noptii

Soapte de noapte
Straluciri pur aruncate
Peste caile intunecate
De vibratii luminate

Trapped

Trapped in a golden cage

Playing the roll on my life's stage

Closed my eyes and look around

Listening to the quiet sound

Trapped in a golden cage

Spread my wings and pledge

To fly as far as the end limit is

And touched it if it really exists

Trapped in a golden cage

All I can do is to change

The broken pieces in my life

With all hopes to survive

Trapped in a golden cage

Trying to turn another page

Swirling around and around

Until I fall on the ground

Trapped in a golden cage

Opened my eyes and merge

With all the twisted thoughts

I rise and shine as I  did once

The Veil of Darkness

Somewhere, in the middle of nowhere…I jump off…everything around is darkness and quiet, very quiet. But I can hear the water whispering to me. It is calling me. And then, I meet him, my groom. He is there, everywhere around me. It is cold and waving to me. Lots of waves are calling my name. He is waiting for me. I can see it very clear the way to get there. All waves are foaming like kneeling scarf after scarf ready to embrace me. Soon I will be there dancing with him, just two of us somewhere in the middle of nowhere. And wave after wave gives me hug after hug and covering my body with their embroider foam. I roam in the water breaking wave after wave, dancing with them, diving into them. That is the moment, the moment of happiness and supreme sacrifice. I am tired, and slowly I let them to carry me. I am passed from wave to wave until he comes back. He touches me, grabbed me, it is getting colder and darker and fear starts to rise in my whole soul.. and we run. In the deep water. I am scared, I wanna go out, I want to breath

Sound of silence

I want to cry but then I have no tears
I want to scream but there is no sound
I want to run but my legs on frozen
  All my body tears apart in medians of particles that started to cry, to scream, to run. Once they meet my whole entire body is just a swirl of dust that runs through the sky and slowly all the particles lose their power to cry, or scream, to run and slowly but it turns back, same as the feathers fly in the blow of the wind. I am looking around me and I see just the sound of silence.

Glasul Ploii

Asculta ploaia ce bate in geam
Asculta soaptele vremii
Asculta vantul ce trece prin ram
Asculta murmurul serii

Priveste la ceru'nnourat
La norii ce fug intruna
Priveste fulgerul ce tocmai a scaparat
Lumina si noaptea sunt una

Tunete se aud agitat
Bat ritmul valtorii
Aduna natura la cantat
Compunand simfonia culorii

Asculta frunza ce fluiera
Asculta creanga cese indoaie
Asculta iarba ce se scutura
Asculta ploaia ce cade siroaie

-Lumin

Train Station

My life is like a train station. Trains come and leave all day long. Sometimes its quiet, very quiet. I like the quiet time when it is just me with myself. When I can be whatever I want or who I want. I just need imagination. And that imagination is coming from the nice trains I have seen during the day. They bring in positive thoughts so I can dream.  When the dark falls over my train station then it is the beautiful time. I am friend with all stars from the sky. I can jump from constellation to constellation and listed stories. Or I can sit on the bench under the pole light and listen the noise of night insects. Most of the time their stories are quiet, the same as my train station. We all are quiet. Just the trains are bringing noise with them. People are coming and leaving, they are loud and in a hurry, they to not notice the lonely bench next to the pole light. They do not hear the insects, they do not see the stars. They are running to catch another train and so its so amazing to see how most of the people do not care about surroundings, they do not care if there is a story or a song that can make them happy and take them out from the daily routine at least for a while. And how all these small happy times gives you more energy so you can move on. Do not run for big things to make you happy. They are so rare and just few in a life. The small happiness times are more often and the joy that they bring makes ourselves be part of each of our own train stations.

Drumul destinului.

Nu o sa incerc sa definesc destinul. Nu o sa incerc sa va prevad sau sa-mi prevad destinul. O sa incerc sa obtin de la voi o explicatie a drumului pe care o persoana il parcurge de-a lungul vietii, si pe care noi toti il numim destin si cu care noi toti suntem de accord ca acesta este destinul. Dar cine a create cest destin? O sa sariti toti in sus si o sa imi ziceti ca Dumnezeu a creat. Destinul. Oare? Da, suntem de acord ca Dumnezeu a creat omul. Dar cine a creat destinul? Este destinul ceva predestinat or Dumnezeu care a creat omul a dat fiecaruia diferite abilitati si ne-a lasat sa ne descurcam fiecare dupa propria putere si inteligenta? Si inclin sa cred ca asta cam asa e. Si stiu ca multi ma vor contrazice. Multi vor zice ca fiecare are drumul lui predestinat. Atunci, daca fiecare are drumul predestinat, de ce unii sunt saraci, de ce unii sunt bolnavi, de ce unii mor foarte de tineri? Toate aceste de ce intrebari ma fac pe mine sa cred ca Dumnezeu ne-a lasat pe fiecare sa ne descurcam, sa ne cream drumul=destinul. Asa cum preotii zic ca noi facem parte din gradina Domnului si incercam sa ne cream un rost in viata. De fapt noi incercam sa ne creem destinul, si fiecare zi cae trece mai adauga ceva in dreptul nostru, in cartea destinului. 

Motherly Instincts

Existentiala…

Cand invatam primele cuvinte, invatam sa zicem mama, tata.

Can invatam primele ore de gramatica, invatam despre eu, tu, ea. el, noi, voi, ei, ele.

Ea si el, sunt doua forme existentiale foarte bine si perfect definite, numai ca vedem si auzim din ce in ce mai mult ca el se transforma in ea si invers. Si…ce e rau cu asta? Nimic, doar ca cele doua forme existentiale ajung sa fie una singura. Se combina.Unii se combina in noi, altii in voi. Dar ce se intampla cand eu ajung la voi? Voi devine noi. Deci nici macar noi si voi nu mai sunt diferite. Cand el devine ea si ei devin noi, cand totul, absolut totul se reduce la noi, ne intrebam unde sunt formele simple ale existentei? Unde e EL? Si unde e EA? Ce se intampla cu NOI? VOI unde sunteti?Doar cateva intrebari simple dar cu raspinsuri complicate. Simplismul a disparut. Existenta noastra nu se mai reduce la el si ea, ci se complica si se multiplica ca o avalansa. Si noi uintem prinsi in ea. Subtem prinsi in tavalugul vremii si avem timp tot mai putin sa respiram si sa ne bucuram ca existam. Sa ne imbatam cu vant, sa ne scaldam in soare, sa respiram parfumul vietii. O viata in care EL alearga mana in mana cu EA pe plaja pustie si se contopesc in EI. Unde suntem NOI?

Lacrimi…Dor de Lacrimi…

Plang, lacrimile imi curg siroaie. fiecare lacrimica ascunde in ea o poveste. O poveste care e prizoniera in lacrima ce se rostogoleste pe obraji-mi tristi. O lacrima care incearca sa se agate de fiecare particica a fetei mele sa ramana cu mine, sa nu plece, sa imi tina povestea aproape, dar in zadar… Se desprinde si cade…pluteste in aer si cade pe caldaramul rece si dur. Lacrima mea se sparge, iar povestea, fel si ea. Se sparge in mii de bucatele. Intind mainile sa le prind, sa le adun, sa imi refac povestea, dar…. Te-am pierdut poveste draga, te-am pierdut! Nu imi ramane decat sa calc pe caldaramul rece si dur si sa merg mai departe spre o noua poveste.

Lacrimi…Dor de Lacrimi…

8 years

8 years ago, on Oct.28 2004, we started our journey to American land. Do I have any regrets? Yes, I do have one: I cannot hug my lovely parents every time I want…

I love you!

Mom, I am tired, I wanna go to sleep.

Ok, go

Mom, can you come with me

I have to finish this and I will be there

Mom, please

…

Pretty please with a cherry on top

Ok, I can finish it tomorrow

Mom, can I hold your hand?

Sure my baby

Mom, let me kiss your hand

…

Mom, have I told you how much I love this hand?

Yes you do that every evening

Mom, this hand is the most beautiful and lovely hand, do you know that?

Yes I know

How come?

Because you told me that

I love you mom

I love you too.

Good night!

Good night!

My dream...

I was in my bed listened the voice of the ocean. The window was open that I could hear the waves breaking on the shore. It was a repeating noise, but trying to say something. I close my eye trying to understand the message from the water. I listened and I was able to hear the whisper of the breeze. The sheer in my window was moving like calling somebody inside, like a welcome. The nature was telling something to me…I lay still, and I heard you. I hear you passing through my open window. For a moment I had frozen. Is that you? My dream is here, I can smell your salty body. I can feel your presence in the room. You moved slowly trying not to make any noise, and getting closer to my bed. I knew that you are looking at me, and I wanted to jump and hug you, but I knew it that you will disappear. My eyes were closed, but all my other feelings were wide open to catch every move and breathe from you. I cannot describe the joy in my soul of having you here with me. You are mine; you came in this world to be mine. In the next second I feel your arm over my right shoulder, and you body getting closer to mine. I felt your muscles getting harder. I could smell you again. I turned around and opened my eye…WHERE ARE YOU?!? I immediately closed my eye trying to keep you with me, but I lost you. You disappear again in that black night, and lighting started outside, and the waves were higher trying to get you deeper and hold you there. It started to rain; I jumped from bed and look at the window. I wasn’t able to see you. Everything was black outside. I started to cry, but my tears were dry. Somebody was whipping them from my cheeks…it is you, my night visitor; you came back for me to hold me and protect me. I have fallen asleep in your arms, a dream that I want not to be ended…